I’ll admit it, I’ve stopped counting kilometres and days. I feel as though I’ve disappointed you dear readers, but the truth is, I just needed to shut off for a little bit. You see, I had some demons I needed to confront and well, it’s hard to take a good look into your soul when you’ve got an audience. I’ve done my soul searching and am ready to finish out my final two weeks on the trail with you.
Tomorrow I reach Blacklion/Belcoo – the “border” between the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland. Tomorrow I wrap up a large section of this journey and start the final sprint towards the finish line and I can’t believe I’ve made it. I’m quite certain I never actually pictured making it this far, let alone ALL THE WAY!
This feeling of accomplishment and pride is like no other.
It’s been much harder than anticipated – a large reason why I haven’t been writing about the trail is I’ve been pretty frustrated with it. As it’s still not fully developed, the last 300km or so have been disappointing and dull but the people I’ve met have more than made up for it. Mentally it’s been draining. I think I’ve hit a wall – I’m getting closer and closer to the end and just starting to miss daily human interactions. The isolation is getting to me and I had a good cry yesterday upon witnessing a couple hug because dammit I want a hug and a warm bed to call my own and maybe even a schedule of some sorts. But I refuse to give up. I took it easy this week – the anxiety had been strong and I feel as though I’ve been fighting back tears for days. I just keep repeating to myself – this too shall pass. I read Matt Haig. I talk to my friends. I walk and sing to myself and argue with my inner voices. I get through.
I will finish this and when I do it will be incredible and infinitely wiser on the inner workings of my dodgy mind.
Today I head to Dowra, tomorrow Blacklion! And I’m not saying it’s NEEDED but if Neven Maguire were to have a spare table at MacNean House tomorrow, I’d happily blow the rest of my non-existent budget on a meal.