My time here in Belfast has thus far been a vacation of sorts. While not the most positive experience for my mental health, it has left me with an abundant (and seemingly never-ending) amount of spare time to think. After 3 weeks of intense thinking I have finally decided on my Next Big Adventure. So … Continue reading The Next Big Thing.
Now that I'm off the trail and still unemployed I find myself with an influx of spare time to write. So here's a post that's a bit delayed but I think still relevant. I, like most of my friends, posted about #MeToo. In my post, I focused on how being sexually assaulted changed me, the … Continue reading #MeToo
As those of you with dodgy minds know, the most frustrating part of having a dodgy mind is how unreliable they can be. And so my darlings, a week and a half late, I present to you (finally): The Post From The Finish Line. Hitting the North Coast of Northern Ireland was a "Love at … Continue reading Day 46: The End.
When I was 14 my anxiety told me to break my big toe. You see, I had a provincial track meet that weekend and my coach had signed me up to run the 200m. While I loved the 60/100m, I loathed the 200. I wasn't good at it - I never placed or qualified and … Continue reading Anxiety and Other Reasons I’m Not A Track-Star.
Guilt is my go-to feeling on days like today. Guilt for disappointing others Guilt for being weak enough to let my dodgy mind stop me from completing simple tasks (washing my massive mane of hair for example). Guilt for feeling sad when others have it much worst. Guilt for allowing the inner demons to take … Continue reading A Sunday Spent in Bed.
I'll admit it, I've stopped counting kilometres and days. I feel as though I've disappointed you dear readers, but the truth is, I just needed to shut off for a little bit. You see, I had some demons I needed to confront and well, it's hard to take a good look into your soul when … Continue reading The Final Stretch
1. You are not alone. Ignore the voice in your head desperately trying to convince you so. 2. It will get better. I know you do not believe me in this moment, but I swear to you, Girl Guides Honour, it will get better. Maybe not immediately, maybe not even in the very near future, … Continue reading 9 Things You Absolutely Need To Remember on World Mental Health Day.
September, 2011 Dearest Maysen, My darling, I'm not sure how terribly pleased you are to still be here, yet here you are - alive and awake and still existing. In this moment you're trying to decide which feeling is worst: the plastic tube stuck down your throat loaded with charcoal that keeps prompting you to … Continue reading Love Letter To A Post-Suicidal Me.
12345678 12345678 12345678 Heaving chest, racing heart, desperate gulps of air sucked in to anxious lungs through lips drawn tight. Trembling hands with fingernails embedded deeply in the palms, a last ditch attempt to regain some semblance of control over the situation but I can't breathe and how am I meant to calm myself when … Continue reading Anxiety in Real Time Take 2.
There's something about being beside the water that soothes my soul. One hour into walking along the Shannon River and my heart was beating a steady rhythm - thu-thump-thu-thump. I was alone on the trail, far from the roads and just so perfectly content. The morning started with a tad of anxiety. I woke up … Continue reading Day 22: 17.5km Along The Glorious Shannon River